I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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