Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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