He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
