Quick, to the slutcave!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
