i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
