no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
