so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There r osticjed everywhere
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
