Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
