apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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