Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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