my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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