Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could make wine with my vomit
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Randomize
