Kiss
Puke
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
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