It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
