apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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