i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She announced her abortion via fbk
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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