all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
