no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
