Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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