Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
