I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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