Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
