he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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