As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
