this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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