hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
