Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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