Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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