We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
