your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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