Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
