I just cut my nipple shaving
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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