I heard we made out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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