Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
