Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
