You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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