i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
