guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Small penises have feelings too.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
