Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
