she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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