But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Rumble strips road head = magical
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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