I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
