I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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