if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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