My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
