Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
