Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
