i don't like sucking hair
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
