He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
