My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize