in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
