Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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