In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
