the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
