Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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