It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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