An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
