After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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