i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
