i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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