when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
