he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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